Archive for July 11th, 2008

Study Reveals Perils of Living Together (Zenit 30 June 2008)

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

(excerpt of Zenit article)

Living Together Dangerously

Perils of Cohabitation
By Father John Flynn, LC
ROME,
Living together before marriage is a very common
practice for couples in many countries. Many defend it
on the basis that it enables the future husband and wife
to get to know each other better. Abundant evidence exists, however,
that cohabitation is more of an obstacle
rather than an advantage in preparing for marriage.

Michael and Harriet McManus recently published
“Living Together: Myths, Risks and Answers (Howard Books),
which documents their research on the topic.
The authors, founders of the organization Marriage Savers,
warn that couples who cohabit before marriage
are much more likely to divorce afterward.

There is a big difference, they say, between a permanent bond
such as marriage and just living together in a conditional relationship.

Typically in cohabitation the two individuals are more concerned
on obtaining satisfaction from the other person, they write.
In marriage, by contrast, spouses tend to focus more on giving
satisfaction to the other person.

One major problem with cohabitation, the book explains,
is that the two partners often start living together for
very different motives.

While many women look upon it as a stepping-stone
to marriage, men often look at it for convenience,
and not as a firm commitment.

Unfair
Furthermore, the authors cite studies showing that typically
cohabitation is not a fifty-fifty division of expenses and burdens.
Women tend to contribute more,
both in terms of money and in domestic work.

Numerous recent studies also demonstrate that physical
attacks against women are much more common among
cohabiting couples than among married couples.
Serious violence and murder are also more prevalent
among couples who are not married.

Another concern is the welfare of children.
Michael and Harriet McManus point out that 41%
of cohabiting U.S. couples in 2003 had children
under 18 years of age living with them.

Social concern
Yet cohabitation in place of marriage should
be considered a major societal concern.
An abundance of research shows
clear benefits for married couples, who are normally happier,
healthier and economically better off.
Research also points to a significant reduction in
these benefits if a couple is only
living together and are not married.

Cohabitation is a factor in spurring higher parenthood
due to births to couples not married.
It is also responsible due to the higher breakup rate
for cohabiting couples who have children
— which is more than twice what it is for
married couples with children.

He tied in the higher break-up rate to
the lack of commitment in cohabiting couples,
a point also mentioned in the McManus book.

Cohabiting partners, he said, “tend to have
a weaker sense of couple identity,
less willingness to sacrifice for the other,
and a lower desire to see the relationship go long term.”

He cited one study carried out in the United States
that calculated cohabiting couples break up at
a rate five times higher than for married couples.

see also:
Romance Without Regret
Jason Evert
http://www.respectlifeeducation.com/pages/programs/jasonevert.html
pureloveclub.com.

contact Catholic Answers to schedule Jason Evert for your area.
Jason Evert Videos

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Sovereignty is given to you by the Lord… Wisdom Chapter 6

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Set your heart, therefore, on what I have to say, listen with a will, and you will be instructed

1 Listen then, kings, and understand; rulers of remotest lands, take warning;
2 hear this, you who govern great populations, taking pride in your hosts of subject nations!
3 For sovereignty is given to you by the Lord and power by the Most High, who will himself probe your acts and scrutinise your intentions.
4 If therefore, as servants of his kingdom, you have not ruled justly nor observed the law, nor followed the will of God,
5 he will fall on you swiftly and terribly. On the highly placed a ruthless judgement falls;
6 the lowly are pardoned, out of pity, but the mighty will be mightily tormented.
7 For the Lord of all does not cower before anyone, he does not stand in awe of greatness, since he himself has made small and great and provides for all alike;
8 but a searching trial awaits those who wield power.
9 So, monarchs, my words are meant for you, so that you may learn wisdom and not fall into error;
10 for those who in holiness observe holy things will be adjudged holy, and, accepting instruction from them, will find their defence in them.
11 Set your heart, therefore, on what I have to say, listen with a will, and you will be instructed.
12 Wisdom is brilliant, she never fades. By those who love her, she is readily seen, by those who seek her, she is readily found.
13 She anticipates those who desire her by making herself known first.
14 Whoever gets up early to seek her will have no trouble but will find her sitting at the door.
15 Meditating on her is understanding in its perfect form, and anyone keeping awake for her will soon be free from care.
16 For she herself searches everywhere for those who are worthy of her, benevolently appearing to them on their ways, anticipating their every thought.
17 For Wisdom begins with the sincere desire for instruction, care for instruction means loving her,
18 loving her means keeping her laws, attention to her laws guarantees incorruptibility,
19 and incorruptibility brings us near to God;
20 the desire for Wisdom thus leads to sovereignty.
21 If then thrones and sceptres delight you, monarchs of the nations, honour Wisdom, so that you may reign for ever.
22 What Wisdom is and how she was born, I shall now explain; I shall hide no mysteries from you, but shall follow her steps from the outset of her origin, setting out what we know of her in full light, without departing from the truth.
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Sinful Silence – properlyscared blog

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Sinful Silence
Posted on June 29, 2008 by properlyscared
The homily this morning, Feast of Sts Peter and Paul, stung me.
The newly ordained priest is still full of the zeal.
Fr. W has just returned from Rome where he visited the catacombs
said to have been a one-time “home” to both St. Peter and St. Paul.
With gospel fire in his voice he asked us,
“How is it that the Early Christians risked everything to evangelize,
but we are unwilling to risk an arched eyebrow at the neighborhood BBQ.
Social discomfort is the most a typical American or Canadian will experience
when sharing the gospel, but we chicken out!
What if martyrdom comes, my people? Who of us will be able to stand?”
It was a short homily.
He said, “There are 1.3 Billion Catholics on this planet. If only 10% spoke up, what a noise that would be! Do you hear it? DO YOU HEAR IT? Neither do I, my people. I hear silence. A sinful silence. If you have not stood up for your Catholic beliefs you have denied Christ–because you are His people, His voice. Ours is a sinful silence, my people. There really isn’t a need to say anything more.”
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Study Reveals Perils of Living Together (Zenit 30 June 2008)

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

(excerpt of Zenit article)

Living Together Dangerously

Perils of Cohabitation
By Father John Flynn, LC
ROME,
Living together before marriage is a very common
practice for couples in many countries. Many defend it
on the basis that it enables the future husband and wife
to get to know each other better. Abundant evidence exists, however,
that cohabitation is more of an obstacle
rather than an advantage in preparing for marriage.

Michael and Harriet McManus recently published
“Living Together: Myths, Risks and Answers (Howard Books),
which documents their research on the topic.
The authors, founders of the organization Marriage Savers,
warn that couples who cohabit before marriage
are much more likely to divorce afterward.

There is a big difference, they say, between a permanent bond
such as marriage and just living together in a conditional relationship.

Typically in cohabitation the two individuals are more concerned
on obtaining satisfaction from the other person, they write.
In marriage, by contrast, spouses tend to focus more on giving
satisfaction to the other person.

One major problem with cohabitation, the book explains,
is that the two partners often start living together for
very different motives.

While many women look upon it as a stepping-stone
to marriage, men often look at it for convenience,
and not as a firm commitment.

Unfair
Furthermore, the authors cite studies showing that typically
cohabitation is not a fifty-fifty division of expenses and burdens.
Women tend to contribute more,
both in terms of money and in domestic work.

Numerous recent studies also demonstrate that physical
attacks against women are much more common among
cohabiting couples than among married couples.
Serious violence and murder are also more prevalent
among couples who are not married.

Another concern is the welfare of children.
Michael and Harriet McManus point out that 41%
of cohabiting U.S. couples in 2003 had children
under 18 years of age living with them.

Social concern
Yet cohabitation in place of marriage should
be considered a major societal concern.
An abundance of research shows
clear benefits for married couples, who are normally happier,
healthier and economically better off.
Research also points to a significant reduction in
these benefits if a couple is only
living together and are not married.

Cohabitation is a factor in spurring higher parenthood
due to births to couples not married.
It is also responsible due to the higher breakup rate
for cohabiting couples who have children
— which is more than twice what it is for
married couples with children.

He tied in the higher break-up rate to
the lack of commitment in cohabiting couples,
a point also mentioned in the McManus book.

Cohabiting partners, he said, “tend to have
a weaker sense of couple identity,
less willingness to sacrifice for the other,
and a lower desire to see the relationship go long term.”

He cited one study carried out in the United States
that calculated cohabiting couples break up at
a rate five times higher than for married couples.

see also:
Romance Without Regret
Jason Evert
http://www.respectlifeeducation.com/pages/programs/jasonevert.html
pureloveclub.com.

contact Catholic Answers to schedule Jason Evert for your area.
Jason Evert Videos

Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

Living Monstrance: With His Spirit We Speak Up

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

With His Spirit We Speak Up
May 8th, 2008 Living Monstrance blog
Recently, my mother told me a story about my brother and me when we were little kids. He was about 4 and I was about 2, and it was Advent. She had just put together an artificial Christmas tree. Remember those things? Shiny and silver and gaudy? You assemble it branch by branch. It’s actually painstaking work. I hope they don’t still sell them.
Anyway, it was a very hectic time for my mother. She had 3 children, including one that was mentally handicapped and required constant care. She had completed the tree and was in the other room on the phone, still in a rush. When she got off the phone, she came into the living room where the tree was.
This is what she saw. There stood a Christmas tree that had its branches completely removed as far as a four-year-old’s arms could reach. On the floor the branches sat. Interspersed between them, there lay all the bulbs that used to hang on them. And scattered around the bulbs of course were all the little metal caps that used to fit into the top of each bulb. And, of course, scattered around these little caps were the little hooks that used to fit into the little caps. In the middle of it all was my brother. On the couch I sat comfortably.
My brother had disassembled everything as far as he could reach. And I sat by watching.
My mother began to cry.
Now, don’t feel bad, as she was telling me this story we were both getting a good laugh out of it. And then she said, “And so I sent both of you to your room.” And I laughed, “Wait a minute, why did you send me to my room? What did I do?” She said, laughing, “You were an accomplice!”
You see, I was a witness to the work she put in to build the Christmas tree. While she was gone, she needed me to be an advocate. She needed me to speak up. But I kept my mouth shut – I didn’t have the right spirit.
We are called to follow the Lord and become witnesses to His great work of salvation. If we do this, He will send us His Spirit: “And when he comes, he will convince the world of sin and of righteousness and of judgment.” (John 16:8 )
With His Spirit, we won’t sit by idly as the lives around us are disassembled.
With His Spirit, we will speak up.

http://livingmonstrance.stblogs.com/2008/05/08/with-his-spirit-we-speak-up/

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Sinful Silence – properlyscared blog

Posted on July 11, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

Sinful Silence
Posted on June 29, 2008 by properlyscared
The homily this morning, Feast of Sts Peter and Paul, stung me.
The newly ordained priest is still full of the zeal.
Fr. W has just returned from Rome where he visited the catacombs
said to have been a one-time “home” to both St. Peter and St. Paul.
With gospel fire in his voice he asked us,
“How is it that the Early Christians risked everything to evangelize,
but we are unwilling to risk an arched eyebrow at the neighborhood BBQ.
Social discomfort is the most a typical American or Canadian will experience
when sharing the gospel, but we chicken out!
What if martyrdom comes, my people? Who of us will be able to stand?”
It was a short homily.
He said, “There are 1.3 Billion Catholics on this planet. If only 10% spoke up, what a noise that would be! Do you hear it? DO YOU HEAR IT? Neither do I, my people. I hear silence. A sinful silence. If you have not stood up for your Catholic beliefs you have denied Christ–because you are His people, His voice. Ours is a sinful silence, my people. There really isn’t a need to say anything more.”
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )

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